有一點迷惘

It's been 2 month after I took the new job.
忙是唯一的寫照, 忙到懷疑自己到底在忙些什麼?

認真檢討起來, 這兩個月的生活就是:
1. 努力的搞清楚狀況
2. 努力的滿足原廠的要求, 即使許多不合理的lousy things, 有許多時間都是在承受別人先前種的惡果
3. 沒有特別的建樹

I would like to break through, however, I am confused.
Confused about how to make things right, how to break through, I can't stay like this for long.
沒有成就感, 是最糟的事。

最近也深深反省自己, 不能再做 "懶人" 了, 唯有 "Do it!" 才能改變我的現狀, 至少這幾天我努力的過在家裡的每一分鐘, 那種感覺還真的不錯, at least I have done something. I have leave some good consequence for my future, not just run away from life and just play games and watching TV.

工作如果也這麼簡單就好了, 不是一直做就會有好結果, 雖然這兩個月來我每天都努力的不得了, 大概有好多年都沒這麼拼命了吧, 但結果還是看不到
今天忍不住跟Sylvia談起八卦, 小小的發了頓牢騷, 我希望我以後不會後悔今天的發洩, but, I really need to let go the steam. I dislike C so much. I loathe her.

How to break through??